OGM, so I’ve never wanted to blog, never thought I would, but i just need somewhere to let out my feelings and thoughts. I can;t really talk to my friends about it, and I really need ot just say it somewhere some how. Here goes.

So, basically, life’s a mess. I was dumped like, the week before valentines day. Yeah I hang with her sitll and were still good friends. But shes always working now. And we never see eachother anymore. I really miss her, and I wish somehow I could have her back. But with that, I am trying to get closer to a couple friends, just to see where it goes. And I don’t want to look pathetic by getting back with an ex when im getting closer to them.

It just really sucks being single. One of my friends just wants to stay friends because they say that dating messes things up. I really think I could be a goo dbf. I’ve never reall done anythign to make an ex hate my guts, so I feel that I am fine that way.

But the person I’m really interested in just doesn;t feel like it yet. I get they think it’s a little too fast, but i just hate waiting forever. I keep asking in ways but always denied. I just wish they would stand up and give me a chance.

And then there’s school. More of a complete mess. I have yearbook, and I am one of two students on the group, and I am happy and good at the graphic part, but there is just so much more in my life and I can’t keep up with deadlines as well as I would like too. And I am starting to get behind in my other classes. I have two classes about health and relationships which just is more work than is needed.

I just wish I had someone by my side, to talk to, to hold, to care about with so m uch I have to give. I am just so lonely now and i need someone’s shoulder to cry on. But there is just no one.

Then there is prom. Stress stress stress. The girl I would really like to be with asked me to prom, since at the school I am at, I can’t go to chisago cuz my classes arent good enough. And I need someone to invite me to flake. They asked me, I accepted, but now times running out, and I dont want to have to cram everything the last week. I want to be set and prepared way ahead of time.

Everything rests on her decision of a dress, and she cant get that till she gets money in the mail. We need the dress before I can get a tux, before we can get the corsage and boutinierre. Her friend apparently is getting ahold of a limo, and of course my life’s enemy will be coming with along with her boyfriend. I just hope nothing goes down, maybe they might change their minds about coming with.

And I just can not dance. I need refresher lessons for ballroom, I feel good about that. But what I don’t look forward to is the club dancing part. I dont want to make her hate me cuz I don’t dance, or sit at a table just people watching. And I don’t want to just go and dance like a retard cuz I hate looking horrible. Everyone is saying, “Oh just hacve fun, thats what its about, no one will care at all. They will all be too busy having fun on their own.” But I know that once someone sees me and tells their friend what a dumbass I look like, I will be devastated. I just wish peopel didnt judge, and everyone could dance naturally.